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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]The Conflict Podcast: MANAGING CONFLICT UP FRONT
Our latest podcast is now on-line. Visit .http://web.me.com/cliverj/Site/Podcast/Entries/2010/2/4_Managing_Conflict_Up_Front.html to hear about the role front-line managers can play in stopping disputes dead in their tracks, including consideration of the crucial ‘golden hour’ of an emerging dispute.
To listen to this podcast, please click here: http://web.me.com/cliverj/Site/Podcast/Entries/2010/2/4_Managing_Conflict_Up_Front.html
To subscribe to our podcast series, please just click ‘subscribe’ at: http://web.me.com/cliverj/Site/Podcast/Podcast.html.
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Our regular audio offering features a new episode, looking at how the ICMF (International Conflict Management Forum) came to be founded, what it aims to achieve, and how anyone can become a forum member.
As promised, we’re kicking off today with one of our favourite conflict management and coaching acronyms. Look out for more in the coming weeks, let us know how you get on trying out our suggestions and do share ones of your own with us (just join in the discussion at www.conflictmanagementforum.org)!
Acronym: TED-PIE
What the letters stand for:
Tell me
Explain to me
Describe to me:
- Previously,
- In detail and
- Exactly.
Uses:
‘TED-PIE’ is a powerful dialogue structure for clarifying understanding and probing meaning. Used appropriately, it should help an individual dig deeper for answers, whilst making clearer to a manager (or mediator) what it is they have to say. The structure may be used as a series of statements, for example:
1. ‘Tell me what has brought you here [to this]…’;
2. ‘Explain to me what will be useful [what it is you want to achieve]’, ‘Explain to me how this has come about…’;
3. ‘Describe what you are thinking [feeling/experiencing] ?’ ‘What if…? Describe how you’d feel in this case…’;
4. ‘Before this began, what was going well?’ ‘Previously, how was your working relationship?’ (note the emphasis here is on what was right, not what’s now wrong);
5. ‘On a scale from 1-10, how do you feel about [this idea]?’.
Download more ‘micro-tools’ and practical resources for managing conflict at www.conflictmanagementforum.org.
ICMF blog-followers might like to sneak a look at our new posting on ‘You Tube’: Shared organizational learning, live events and on-line discussion are what make for a lively place for discussing all things relating to managing conflict at work. This short video explains how.
Radio 4 programme “Am I Normal” considers the bullying or strong management debate in its latest episode. Catch it while you can (audio remains on-line only for 7 days).
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]The Conflict Podcast: INTRODUCING THE ‘MICROTOOL’
Tune into our new diet of regular podcasts. Jackie Keddy explains what a ‘microtool’ is and what role it can play in coaching, mediation and everyday management conversations.
To listen to this podcast, please click here: http://web.me.com/cliverj/Site/Podcast/Entries/2010/2/10_MicroToolsCut1.html
To subscribe to our podcast series, please just click ‘subscribe’ at: http://web.me.com/cliverj/Site/Podcast/Podcast.html.
“Everything that you can see is real” - Pablo Picasso, Artist.
The idea that ‘perception is reality’ is controversial, but what Picasso’s statement reminds us of is that each person sees their world differently to others - and for them, it is real.
In managing conflict and in coaching, understanding a person’s perception (as well as sometimes challenging it) is often relevant, as is encouraging a belief that if a ‘perfect future’ can be envisaged, then it’s worth working toward!
Share your ‘quotable quotes’ at www.conflictmanagementforum.org.
It’s not too difficult to come up with a few catchy memory joggers when you put your mind to it, and we’re not backward in suggesting a few ourselves! But to be useful, an acronym that helps shouldn’t just be a clever selection of letters for words! Here are a few ‘guidelines’ that we think add up to a good mnemonic:
- Think through what is trying to be achieved (and remembered) before starting to pick out a possible acronym- Think through if a sequence of steps applies in what you’re aiming to achieve, or whether the acronym is more of a ‘check-list’. A sequence obviously drives the ordering of the words you choose
- Go to town in coming up with a memorable acronym, write it down and rehearse it - remember the words being represented and their meaning, not just the catchy letters!
- Don’t worry about coming up with a real word or phrase - the important thing is that the mnemonic can be remembered! Trainee pilots, for example, are taught the catchy but very un-English mnemonic ‘BUMFICHL’ when preparing to turn into land a plane (Brakes off, Undercarriage down, Mixture set, Flaps set as needed, Indicator lights don’t show any problems, Carburetor heat given a burst, Handbrake off and seat Harnasses secured, Landing lights on)
- Try to avoid choosing too many words that start with the same letter, although sometimes this is unavoidable!- As much as possible, keep simple (acronyms don’t have to be long)
- Don’t be dogmatic about having to follow the exact letter of a mnemonic, keep a sense of what’s relevant and needed in each and every situation
- Be ready to adapt and abandon acronyms that don’t work - learn from your experiences and be open to other ideas.
We’ll be suggesting a few of our favourites in the coming weeks, and would love to hear yours to (just join in the discussion at www.conflictmanagementforum.org)!
It’s very nice to be told by Billy Bragg’s former singing coach that you’ve got a ‘good voice’, and especially when your singing is usually restricted to private moments and the odd attendance at the annual Christmas nativity extravaganza. This happened to me only yesterday, when I took part in a sing-a-long workshop, taking on board everything from Cole Porter to Cockney Rebel (very hard to get your “baa baa baa baa - baa baa baa baa’s” in time to ‘Come Up And See Me’ I found). Being Brighton, of course a bit of Abba featured too, along with that ‘twist again’ song I can never remember the name to and Bill Wither’s ‘Lovely Day’ (see how long you can hold the word ‘day’ without gasping for air). It was a lively, uplifting, if exhausting day.
But I came away feeling well stroked for the edifying comment on my supposed unknown ‘talent’ (well, maybe). A simple word of encouragement can spark a self confidence and motivation that may often be lacking, and especially if it’s said with a genuine conviction. Perhaps when those in conflict are fighting strong emotions of anger and negativity, the odd genuine word of simple encouragement (say, for the progress being made or in gratitude for something shared) might go a long way? [CJ]
Thoughtful quotes can have a dramatic effect in making us stop and think - as well as possibly doing the same for those we share them with. Some books are of course full of great citations from the ‘good and the great’ (as well as from more ordinary mortals like ourselves!). We thought that we’d pick out a few of our favourites over the coming weeks that seem to have relevance to managing conflict and coaching people to be the best.
Not all quotes may be ones we agree with, though can still be useful for making us think. Here’s one that Jackie came across just the other day:
“Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking
what nobody has thought.” - the words of Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi (1893-1986), a Biochemist.
‘Hmm!’ we thought. Yes it may be sometimes be true, but we’re not sure we’d agree that it always is: discovery can be about seeing something for the first time that no-one else has seen, after all!
We hope you enjoy our choices, but please let us know of sayings (whether well known or not) that have left an impression for you. Get in touch on-line at www.conflictmanagementforum.org).
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